Thursday, January 2, 2014

How Things Are Gonna Be Like

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So this is how things are gonna be like. I just hafta keep on checking this sweet damn thing so I'd have an idea where the waves will send him next. This is so not gonna be easy and I have never imagined falling for someone with anything to do like this - an indefinite LDR with a high risk kind of job. All I wanted was someone I can simply spend the rest of my life with..

I have this nick of ending stuffs when I don't see any use of it's prolonged existence, not even giving at least a second look back. Say how I didn't want to settle for anything less for the past, what?, four years..

But it's different this time. I wanna give this my best shot. A shot like I've never made before. Why? It might be because I saw a flicker of genuineness and sincerity from him and I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt though we've only known each other for roughly three weeks before we became official. 

Sure I have constantly thought of losing hope if this relationship might even last for countless times with endless questions lingering around, as it is young and is so much vulnerable and prone to doubt. I can't be blamed. It's a natural emotion of a person whose heart has been played upon overtime. Okay, so I've got myself to blame for allowing that. And so I'm scared to give the wrong guy another precious chance and eventually get disappointed and break my heart again. I know myself well enough to know how far I'll go, and maybe sacrifice, for love.. It also doesn't help that I don't have a lot of people I can confide to, not that I need a lot of them anyway.

I have my hopes high that this LDR will work out, that we will find ways to keep in touch. Hence, I keep on convincing myself that it won't be so bad after all. That missing the person you chose to love would just be one of the perks. 

Example.. Kana ganing feeling nga super nka gimingaw sa pila na ka weeks without commu then one morning u rcv an iloveyou msg from him? astang wai kasudlan and kalipay and super kilig!! HAHAH K. And of course, that knowing he's safe pud. Pag nagka commu na, it really feels like the heaven is rejoicing when all doubts and uncertainties are being taken away just because of a simple affirmation and sincere assurance you've wanted to hear. I guess that alone can already compensate for the time that he was gone.. 

I love him and will do anything for our relationship to work ♥ :)

2nd Monthsary Skype Date ♥

PS. 

So, it goes like this, if heavens would allow, forever. Pila na pud ka tormenting days, or weeks or months, ko maglaum ug maghulat - with or without prior notice?! Hunahunaon nalang nako ang global warming, gender and development, quantitative research, statistics and probability, public ethics, deprived basic human rights, MDGs (hapit na raba 2015), youth org, from Tarryn Fisher to Malala Yousafzai and the guy named Rockstrom who worked his probably nonexistent social life to set standards for environmental management and business accountability which less than ordinary human beings haven't heard of, computer networking, dealing with hotels' crappy ISP and LPCs ug ang pagkaon sa pantry nga ugh, forced diet lang. All those among other things not essential enough to be listed though time consuming i.e. sleeping, eating, shopping, sleeping, eating and reading. Posting an absolute ranting stat in FB. Not to mention, learning how to drive in a 20kmph traffic and park smoothly for the nnnth try, all at the same time.

LOVE, I would like to believe, transcends communication and distance. Okay, fight! 💜